As I sit here thinking about how to start this blog, my two girls, ages 4 and 5, are upstairs randomly shouting from their bed. Not shouting words, just strange animal sounding noises. This is one of the times of day that I pray for quiet. For alone time. For calm. But these quiet moments of alone time won’t last long as baby number 3 is coming quicker than I can imagine. August will be here before I know it. As crazy as my girls are, I love them more than I ever knew I could. And there is a part of me that wonders how my heart will have room for one more little. How much love can one heart hold?
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with #2. I cried. Not tears of joy, but tears of shock. I was so surprised and felt so unready. (And looking back on it, my reaction was right. Bringing another baby home to a 1 year-old sister is honestly bananas!) But in all seriousness, I remember thinking that day in the bathroom, how can I do this? How could I love anyone more than I love my sweet baby girl? She was my everything. Then something changes in you mama, and you do find the space. You find the room in your heart for this new life. You might take a little while to get used to it, like I did, but it comes. Slowly but surely. You start making the changes to prepare your body to take care of that baby. To protect it from any harm and to help it foster and grow. While the baby is growing, we grow too. We make the space for more love.
Now my “big” girls are still yelling out crazy noises and I’m trying to tune them out. I turn on some soft music in my office and my newest little seems to have woken up. He or she must like Mariah Carey as much as I do. ;) I am learning new things every day that I love about this little one and our soon-to-be family of 5. But until then, I am cherishing the time we have together alone, even in utero. Just me and the little bump.